Friday loves

well now that Blogger has decided to stop being a douchebag, we can get on to the little list of things I'm loving this week... ya know... because you're all DYING to know! ;) 

• these garden markers (the post was actually from a year ago, but I found it via Pinterest this week), made from an old spoon and some creative labels. now that my herbs are planted, I might need to do this. 

• this post by Mandy (who obviously has the coolest name ever), reassuring everyone that she is not super woman, and that she, just like all parents, has daily struggles. I'm not a Mama, but it's comforting to me for some reason.
• the completed patio, courtesy of YHL. we want to demolish our existing deck and put in a patio of pavers, and the DIY experts have pretty much confirmed our wavering decision to NOT do it ourselves. it honestly just seems like a huge pain in the ass, and we don't have time for it. 
• marble chevron tile. 

• 40 handmade gifts from the kitchen - I am really considering going handmade for gifts this year, since we're trying to save up for the possibility of a babe in the future, and this post is full of SO many wonderful edible gifts.
• baskets in the fridge = organization genius.

• the handmade giveaway going on over at Rogue Poags! the only reason I didn't enter is because that little yellow pouch in the pictures already has my name on it - enter to win a custom handmade coin purse... with a Starbucks gift card inside! 
• these planters from West Elm. since we plan on repainting our shutters grey (they are currently hunter green and I hate them), these would look awesome on our front stoop.

• this recipe for grilled zucchini pizza looks delicious. I want to try it soon. 
• and as always, live kittens playing and cuddling and mewing. I may or may not be slightly obsessed with these guys.

have you discovered anything awesome this week? 

HAPPY FRIDAY!

grrr, this is my angry face

before I begin this, I would like to state for the record that I'm feeling hormonal today, which is probably where this post is coming from. also, because I know people will read this and automatically think "OMG that post is about me"... it's probably not, so calm yourself. these things are a combination of annoyances that I've witnessed on Facebook, Twitter, and the like. really, they're all just generalized pet peeves that I have instilled in my mind. oh, and it's my blog, so I can do what I want.

I really hate to be negative, but some things have just been irking my nerves, and I feel as though I have to vent. I think bullet style will work best here, because if I don't this might turn into a 10 page essay, and we don't want that amount of negativity here, now do we?

so here we go... a little list of sorts of things that piss me off to no end.

• Hormones. getting off birth control has turned me into a chocolate craving, bitchy, hormonal, breakdown having, spazzed out psycho. I was always real laid back, never had to worry about my flying off the handle or anything. yeah, that shit's over. nowadays I can go from 0 to Holy Shit Why Am I Crying AGAIN? in about 2 seconds. poor Sean... he truly didn't know what he was getting into... I didn't even know I had the capability of being like that, but I think my hormones are just completely out of whack. I hope I'll be normal again someday.
• Negative Nancies. if more than 75% of your Facebook updates, tweets, blog posts, etc contain something that could be considered a "rant," go do something that makes you happy, because you've obviously got way too much time on your hands to sit around and bitch about everything. complaining about things and not making changes in your life make you worthless.
• yes, I realize that this blog post is a "rant" but most of my posts here are happy ones and I feel that one negative post in a dozen of happy ones makes me human, not Debbie Downer or Negative Nancy.
• People Pleasers. while yes, I think that if you have a blog that you want to be popular, it's important to reach out to your readers. but do not change yourself completely based on what's trendy in blogging right now. write about what YOU want to write about, and don't worry about what others think. you're never going to please everyone. if you aren't passionate about the things you write about, chances are, people will smell that from a mile away. if you really want to please people, just be yourself. :) 
• The Word "Front" Used As A Verb. I shit you not, I've read or heard this at least 8 times in the past week and one instance was reading it regarding the analysis of Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby on a discussion board for my English class. if you are not ghetto, please refrain from using the word "front" in any other way than describing the location of something, ie my fist in front of your face.
• Over-Analyzers. stop worrying about what other people are doing/saying/thinking and stop trying to analyze WHY they're doing/saying/thinking these things. stop questioning it... people have their own opinions for a reason, and it's not so that you can speculate and judge them; get your own life.
• Unsolicited Advice/Opinions. people who need to have an opinion about my husband and I trying to have a baby and subsequently feeling the need to question me about it, such as "are you sure you're ready for it? zomg they're such a big responsibility!" and "why do you have to 'try'? it's not hard! look at me, I got knocked up accidentally WHILE on birth control. TWICE! woops!" while that's awesome for you, it's not a really considerate thing to say. and a little birdie (aka everyone I've ever met in my life that actually has children) once told me that you're never truly ready for kids. but thanks for being concerned. 
• Motherfuckin' ANTS. I keep my house clean and these sons of bitches still find a way in. they're in random places too, like my bathtub! obviously, the people who installed our tub didn't do such a great job caulking/grouting, so it looks like we'll be taking on yet another home improvement project. add it to the list. 
• Mean Girls. I guess what I mean by this is, girls who hate other girls simply because they have a vagina. the whole "well I just get along better with dudes" act is probably not true. if you don't have girlfriends that you can trust, it's most likely because you're a bitch and untrustworthy. I mean sure, I get along with guys too, but that's because they aren't complex human beings like women and don't require much effort to maintain a friendship with.
• Undeserving Pet Owners. think of having a pet as having a child. if you cannot afford to take care of a child (except that it's actually a lot CHEAPER than having an actual human), you should not have a pet. I understand that unexpected things happen and spontaneous trips to the vet definitely suck, but it comes with the territory as being a pet owner and it's something that is bound to happen. there's no such thing as a "free" puppy/kitten/iguana. also, if you keep your cat/dog/domesticated animal as an "outdoor" pet, only giving it attention when it suits your needs, just shoot yourself, but make sure to have a good home for your pet before you go. if there's one thing I will judge you on, it's how you treat your animals.

good day, sir. 

Reverb 10 - December 24th-28th

December 24: Everything's OK

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

honestly, this prompt is really hard for me. I can't remember a time this year in which I worried about things being alright, and therefore, there wasn't really a moment that served as reassurance of that either. 

I guess I just always try to keep a positive outlook... it's been one of my goals this year to stay optimistic. I always know things will work out, despite how bad they seem at the time. even when times are tough, something good usually comes of it, and it's most likely a lesson learned. I don't really need a specific moment to know that things will turn out just fine. 

I'll continue to keep my outlook as positive as possible in the future, including the year ahead. I want to look on the bright side of things and not stress about things that are out of my control. it takes a bit of patience to live this way, but it's the best thing for my sanity. 

________________________________________

December 25: Photo

Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

I took this picture of myself (well, my legs & feet), back in August at the beach during our anniversary vacation. it's amazing how much one photo, taken on my cell phone no less, can reveal so much about a person. this picture pretty much represents everything I am... laid back, beach goer/lover, book reader extraordinaire, relaxed & mellow. I want to be all those things and more in the future as well, so I feel like this photo is a perfect representation of me as a person.

_______________________________________

December 26: Soul Food

What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

Thanksgiving & Christmas dinner, which are pretty much the same in our family household, consist of some of my favorite foods, and therefore are the winners for this prompt. these meals include: turkey, ham (for Christmas dinner), mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing, asparagus, steamed broccoli, biscuits, and gravy.

I was definitely more appreciative of both meals this year, because instead of parking my ass on the couch to watch football, I spent both days in the kitchen cooking. these meals are what I look forward to all year long, so it's not hard to imagine why I consider them to be the meals that touched my soul. I wish I could eat them everyday... I think the wait and the anticipation is what makes them so special. :)

_______________________________________

December 28: Achieve 

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

I think this is pretty obvious, but I would love to be a mother next year. I know I'm too young to say that my clock is ticking, but I have this intense feeling of baby fever... I want to be a mama very badly, and I know that next year will be the right time for us. we're settled in our lives and our careers (for the most part), and although I know everyone says "you'll never be ready," I think we're ready. 

I honestly cannot even describe how happy I'll be when I become a mother... I know it'll be one of those moments that I'll never ever forget, and I'm certain that the feelings will not be able to be put into words. I think I'll feel ecstatic, happy, successful, nervous, excited, relieved, terrified, and content... all at the same time. 

I'm so excited to experience pregnancy and motherhood. I can almost guarantee that I will love being pregnant and will love all the new emotions I will get to feel. obviously, I've never been a mom before, so I can't really grasp how amazing the feeling is to grow a baby. I can't wait to be a mom, and for Sean to be dad... I think we'll both make great parents one day, and I will consider myself extremely blessed if that day is in 2011. 

as for the last part of the prompt, the only way I'd be able to reenact the feeling of being pregnant and having a baby is to do so, therefore, unless I found out today that I was pregnant (which I'm not, by the way), I could not possibly experience that feeling today. 

Reverb 10 - December 18th

December 18: Try

What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

next year, I'd like to try my hand at being a mama. shocker, I know. and no, I'm not pregnant, so don't go assuming that I am. I'm currently off of birth control, so we're taking things as they come. I don't have a specific time in which I'd like to get knocked up or give birth, so whenever it happens, I'll be happy and excited. 

we're at a point in our lives where we're ready to be parents, and we're really excited to start trying for a family. I can't wait to carry on the traditions I experienced as a child and teach my children everything I know. we're ready to take that next step, and are completely terrified at the same time.

everything I wanted to try in 2010, I did. I wanted to try a healthy lifestyle and consumed it with a passion. I wanted to try my hand at photography, and again, I fell in love with it, and now I'm obsessed with it. I wanted to try a bunch of new restaurants in our area, and we did.  I wanted to try reading a few books out of my normal subject matter, and ended up reading a ton of great books that I would have never picked up.

I think 2011 will be an amazing year of new experiences for us, and hopefully, it'll include a little bambino at some point. ♥

random thoughts

- I am super duper excited about going out of town this weekend. at first, I was a little bummed, because I'll be riding solo and it's a 6 hour drive (Sean has a Ravens game and therefore cannot join me)... but now I'm actually kind of happy to have all that alone time. it's been a very long time since I've gone on a road trip by myself, and I enjoy the time I have in the car to just think and sing at the top of my lungs. 

- I also really can't wait to spend time with my cousin and her family. the whole point of going up there is to help out making apple butter, but I'm just using it as an excuse to see one of my favorite people. we've already decided that if the whole apple butter thing is lame, we're going to skip out on it. :)

- you have to go check out Kaley's new blog style! her friend and fellow blogger, Jess, designed it for her! how awesome and gracious is that? if someone wants to redesign The Bear Naked Truth, feel free to let a sister know! haha! 

- I just discovered Wordle.net and I am having a blast playing around with different words and layouts. I might use this on the blog somehow. basically, you type in a bunch of words, and the program rearranges them for you - you can change your font and your color scheme and how you want the words arranged. the more times you put the same word in, the bigger it is. 

- work has been a huge pain in the ass today. two of my coworkers are both out sick, and therefore, a lot of the work has been placed on my plate today, despite the amount of work I already had planned for today. the other estimator is out sick, and unfortunately, she left a project for me to revise and send over... but the problem is that we do things differently and it's hard to understand where she got some items and how she came up with some figures. ugh. I hate doing other peoples' work. 

- I went to my spin class last night for the first time in two weeks and it felt GREAT to get back in there! they've increased the time of the class by 15 minutes (making it a 45 minute class), but the last 15 minutes is all core work. since I already worked out with my trainer, and did PLENTY of ab work, I left the class after the spin portion was over. 

my workout with my trainer was awesome last night as well... I was complaining and whining about every single exercise, which means it's working. even though I've been working out for three months, I've only lost 8lbs total. I'm okay with that though, because I feel great and I can tell I'm really toning up in some areas.

- my baby fever is getting worse by the minute. it doesn't help that fall is here and babies have the CUTEST clothes in the fall - little knit hats, leg warmers, and boots. oh my! 

- I was really honored to be mentioned on Becca's blog the other day. as a celebration of her 200th blog post, as well as having 100 followers, she posted a bunch of blogs that she loved, and mine was included! how sweet of her to do something different to honor her followers. 

Happy almost Friday! 
don't forget, I'll be out of town all weekend (including tomorrow), so I probably won't get the chance to post anything. even though I'm itching to finish up the 30 Day Challenge, it'll have to wait until next week! :)

random thoughts.

I've recently realized that I may have a slight case of OCD. I was resetting my FM stations in my car last night, after having to buy a new battery, and I set them all in numerical order. also, at work, I use colored highlighters, which ALWAYS have to be in order of the rainbow. I count my steps when I walk, and I count when I brush my teeth. I can't use a pen that doesn't write well, and if I mess up while writing something, I have to start over. 

______________________________________________________

The new season of Project Runway starts tonight and I am super duper excited. I've mentioned before how much I love the show, and the fabulous Tim Gunn. even better though... the new season of Jersey Shore begins tonight as well! I can't wait to watch the disaster that is the crazy group of guidos and guidettes. I hope Snookie gets punched in the face again twice... again. at least, I hope someone pulls her Bump-It out this time. 

_______________________________________________________

Sean & I are leaving for our week long beach vacation in 9 days, and while I'm definitely looking forward to the relaxation, I reaaaaally don't want to leave my cats. when we came back from our honeymoon, Bear was a big weirdo. he wouldn't come near us for a while... it's like he didn't even know who we were. I wish I could just pack them all up and bring them with us. 

in fact, I'm almost positive that Bear would love the beach. he LOVES water, which is why he isn't allowed in the bathroom... otherwise, he'd sneak up on me in the shower and fight me for the faucet when I brush my teeth. strange little kitty. 

________________________________________________________

I'm pretty sure I have shin splints. they started bothering me on Sunday, but I just assumed my legs were sore from walking/going up stairs/being on my feet ALL day long in flip flops on Saturday. when I was working out with my trainer on Monday evening, they began to get really really sore. it was hard for me to walk, let alone do the step exercises my trainer was expecting me to do. I've been stretching them and putting ice on them for 20 minutes everyday, but they still hurt. anyone have any hints on how to make it stop? and don't worry, I wear excellent shoes when I work out, so I don't think that's a contributing factor.

_________________________________________________________

Sean sent me this recipe today, and it looks so fucking delicious. I think we try it out tomorrow night. I'll be sure to take pictures and post it to share with everyone!

__________________________________________________________

Baby fever is getting worse by the day. at first we talked about on going to Europe next summer, and then, after doing some research, we decided it was just too expensive. and so we've recently started planning on taking a cruise in January, as our last just-the-two-of-us trip. well now Sean is back on the Europe kick... the one that HE said was too expensive months ago after I got my hopes up about going. we know we can save for it, and we know people who live over the pond that could help us find cheap places to crash... but... that also means I have to wait to get knocked up. 

I don't know what I want to do. on one hand, I really want Sean to experience a cruise and I want our last trip to be tropical and relaxing (and, I want to start trying for kiddos early next year). but on the other hand, I don't see us being able to travel to Europe any other time than now (until we're old and grey), and it's always somewhere we've both always wanted to visit. we'd probably make a list of things/countries we want to visit, but I still feel like we'd be rushing around and not getting a chance to really relax. AND I'd have to wait to get pregnant. 

what would you do? also keep in mind that a trip to Europe is probably about 5 times the cost of going on a cruise.

__________________________________________________________

and lastly, because he's cute, here's a Bear Cub for you. 

Happy Thursday!

I think I need more cowbell.

the fever. I have it.

baby fever, that is.

I don't know what the hell happened. when we got married, we said we'd wait 3-5 years before we even started thinking about having a baby. even after we got married, I was pretty hellbent on waiting a while... we had a house to get in order and some traveling we wanted to do, and kids were just not in the forefront of my mind at ALL. I've never been the kind of person who wanted to be a mom... ever. I honestly didn't even want children until I met Mr. FoFandee.

it's not that I don't LIKE kids, but I'm not a very patient person, and let's face it - you gotta have a lot of that to have children. my patience level has gotten better through the years, but I still get annoyed by kids pretty easily.

so anyway. yeah, I don't know where it came from. maybe my clock is ticking? I'm only twenty-four, and I thought that shit didn't really kick in until you're much older. over the last couple months, I've just been wanting a baby... and BAD. I can't explain the feeling. a lot of my friends are having children, and it doesn't help that I have an adorable 2 year old brother (even if he IS an asshole sometimes). I just swoon when I see babies... and I know that Sean and I would be awesome parents, and I'm thinking it'll probably happen sooner rather than later. it also doesn't help that Sean is almost 4 years older than I am, and he's ready for children whenever I say GO.

obviously, I'm not gunna just go and get knocked up right away because my ovaries are telling me to. we want to take one big trip together before we decide to start a family, so I think the plan is to take a cruise to the Caribbean in the winter, and then go from there. I think I'll probably get off the birth control in the fall/winter/whenever my Nuva Ring runs out. I've been on birth control for about 8 years, so I'm sure it'll take a while for my body to get back to normal, but just in case it happens right away, I'm going to wait until we're absolutely ready.

we're in a good position financially, and I know we'll never truly be "ready" to have a kid (cause that's what everyone says), but I know we can make it work and still live comfortably. we've even tossed around the idea that I may be able to stay home with the baby for a while. we have a lot of money in savings, and Sean makes enough money to cover our mortgage, bills, and then some. I don't make a lot of money, and with the cost of daycare for newborns being so high, it wouldn't really make a lot of sense for me to work JUST to afford daycare.

and of course, I'm as terrified as I am excited. there are tons of things about pregnancy that scare the crap out of me. I have an extremely bad anxiety disorder, which I take a daily medication to control, so my biggest worry is that I won't be able to switch to a baby-safe anti anxiety medicine and it'll just come back full force. I'm sure there's something out there though. and obviously, regular pregnancy things scare me too - like stretch marks, and my belly button popping out, and breast feeding, and ruining my perfect boobs, and labor, and birth defects, and teaching my kids the right morals, and POOP and VOMIT and everything else.

:: instrumental picture break from all this seriousness ::

just in case you don't believe me when I say my little brother is adorable, check out some of these pictures.

getting ready for bed with "stawn" (Sean).

hangin' out on his SpiderMan couch. he LOVES that thing.

this was when he was going through his "mine" phase. everything was "mine" and you could NOT tell him any different.

loves giving his sissy kissies.

watching the cooks grill steak through the window at Original Steakhouse.

pumpkin pie. nom nom noms.

his cheese face. :D

pretty excited about the rake I got him for Christmas. he loves helping my dad out in the yard!

HAHA. he was "making fwogs" in his pants... meaning he was farting. and he was happy about it.

helping me celebrate my birthday at Cheesecake Factory. little ham!


so... that's where I'm at right now. it's been on my mind for a while, and we've discussed our options and our future plans, and having kids sooner rather than later is something we both want. like I said, I'm not going to be reckless and go out and get pregnant rightfuckingnow... we're going to take that cruise and see where we're at from there in the baby making thought process.

andplusalso, it's a bad idea to be following YHL, Enjoying The Small Things, withTWOcats, All Things G&D, and a bunch of other bloggers who have recently had babies. BAD IDEA. my ovaries are squealing with every picture.



PS - please tell me I'm not crazy in thinking that my little brother looks like the male version of Kelle Hampton's daughter, Lainey? am I nuts? am I weird for noticing things like that from other blogs? I guess my future kids are gunna have a whack ass mom.




PPS - if you know me in real life, or at least on Facebook, please don't mention this whole baby fever thing on there, k? it's not something I'm announcing to the world... well, I guess I am, but still. I don't want it to be a big deal and people asking me questions and shit. that's why I have this blog.

thankyouandgoodday.