Day 30/30

Day 30/30 - whatever tickles your fancy

I cannot believe I'm done with the 30 Day Challenge! it went by a lot faster than I thought it would, even though I skipped a few days and most weekends. it was definitely fun though, and I look forward to finding a new challenge to blog about! 

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as for today's prompt, instead of posting a bunch of pretty pictures of our honeymoon, or what I did last weekend, or tattoos, I'm going to talk... err... type about one of my recent struggles. 

I officially became a non-smoker on Tuesday. well, I suppose it was really Monday evening, since that's when I smoked my last cigarette. I wanted to quit last week, but because I was taking a road trip (solo), I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment. I knew there was no way I could travel 5 hours away from home by myself and not smoke during the drive. 

I quit last year before my wedding, and I continued to not smoke for about 6 months. I'm not exactly sure why I started back up again, to be honest. I think it was one of those things where I decided that I could possibly smoke ONLY when I was drinking... which turned out to be pretty frequent, considering I started buying them on a regular basis. 

let me just tell you... these past two days have NOT been easy, by any means. it's a constant struggle for me. the good thing is though, is that there are no smokers in my office, so I'm not really tempted to bum one. the struggle for me goes way passed the actual physical addiction to nicotine... it's mental as well. I'm so used to the habit of smoking... the oral fixation, the movement of something in my hand, driving in the car. everything I do is associated with when I smoke - I time out my smoke breaks at work every hour, and I smoke as soon as I leave work, and then when I get to the traffic circle by my house. the habit itself is definitely the hardest thing to break.

for now, I am using the nicotine patch to cut out cravings. I've also been stocking up with candy and gum to get my oral fixation taken care of... Gobstoppers, Runts, and Starburst galore! I can't wait to get passed the point where I still feel the need to smoke, for the habit alone. once I get passed that hump, I'll be golden. Sean also bought an electronic cigarette when he quit last year, which seemed to work really well for him, so I might give that a try once I'm done with all three stages of the patches.

I'm really excited about quitting for good. this is something I've been thinking about doing for a long time, and I finally just got fed up with it. not only is it horrible for you (duh!), but I am tired of smelling like an ashtray and having a constant cough. I've pretty much been smoking since I was 17, so needless to stay, my lungs deserve better. I can't wait to workout and not be so out of breath, and the money that I spend on cigarettes will surely become apparent in my bank account soon. 

obviously, Sean is super supportive, and since he quit smoking almost a year ago, he's a good person to have around. he knows how hard it is for me, and he is continuously encouraging me. luckily for him, he's never had a problem quitting, and he was actually able to do it cold turkey. I'm so inspired by his will power and I hope that I can make him proud. 

anyway, this was kind of a rambling post, but I just wanted to share with everyone. wish me luck, it's going to be tough, but I am more determined now than I've ever been! now I just need to super clean my car so it doesn't reek of cigarettes! 

Happy Thursday!